A day-by-day guide to That Which Annoys, as culled from the procrastination-heavy Bileduct that is Twitter's @SISPURRIER.
MONDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Open-mouthed gum chewers. Many species generate sounds in mouth and throat to attract a mate. You attract only stabbing.
TUESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: UGG boots. Severed Yeti-legs; make cute girls look fuckwitted; impractical at this latitude since 8,000BC. WHY WHY WHY
WEDNESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The lack of appreciation for the mighty Twiglet on my side of the pond and its utter anonymity on the other. GASTROFAIL.
THURSDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Shit visual puns in TV news. “Cabinet Reshuffle” = Croupier dealing cards. “Brown Under Pressure” = turd under anvil.
FRIDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The concept of “Government Think Tanks”. If BRAINMAKINGS = CASH, every introspective morning turd is worth billions.